FASOW #1: GLAAD

Introducing the newest addition to my blog . . . the Flaming Asshole of the Week Awards! Each week (I'll try), someone, something, or some group will earn this prestigious award for their contributions to the degradation of American society. Without further ado, the winner of this week's award and the very first is . . .

GLAAD

I try my hardest not to be an anti-American (most of the times) because I think this is a great country in many true and comedic ways. However, the Constitution seems to prove day after how much of a pain in the ass it makes living here. I can't help but get pissed every time someone sues someone/something because it offends them. Insults, politically incorrect jokes, ethnic jabs, or racial slurs are kinds of offense terms. These are WORDS. Want to experience something offensive? Wait outside of Abercrombie wearing Lugz, a tilted baseball cap, and pants down to your knees, until I come around and smash you in the chest with a golf club. That's offensive.

Not the golf club or the collapsed lung, the clothing.

What I'm getting at with this rant on overly serious douche bags, ironically, is about a group named GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). GLAAD, which they obviously aren't, has recently fired off a few rounds at popular TV show American Idol for comments by the judges about a contestant who clearly didn't have a gender until he said he was a boy. Idol judge Randy Jackson said, "Are you a girl?" A very clear and honest question, nothing offensive, it was arousing his curiosity and he needed to find out. Hell, so did I.

The contestant defended himself from Jackson's comment by saying, "Nope, I pee standing up, just like you."

Amazing.

Let me state a few things here to start off. One, I have nothing against gays, lesbians, or the "genderly confused" as I refer to some of them. Two of my best friends came out of the closet and it didn't bother me. I still remain to this day good friends with them with no regrets or discomfort towards either of them. If GLAAD could just pull their heads out of their asses, they would realize that there are much better ways to get their points about diversity across rather than blasting a few TV stars. I also began watching American Idol this season after I saw a few clips of Simon Cowell, master of the universe, shooting down talentless goofs.

Why can't people just shut the fuck up? It really bothers me that everyone is offended by everything. It's sickening. Why is every single damned person in this country upset with everything? What the hell do you people have to worry about so much? Has anyone ever seen third world countries before? Those are some pretty desperate and hopeless people. Let's see how much bitching you do over your latte when some starving kid with an open, infected wound asked for a nickel. Granted, some people have real reasons to complain, but most don't.

Did you pass by a radio station playing a song by an atheist band *GASP!!*? Guess what? You can change the fuckin' radio, it's a perk of common technology. Don't want it? Don't hear it. Was there a movie in the rental place with a woman in a string bikini on the cover? Oh my! But whadaya know? YOU DON'T HAVE TO RENT IT.

These GLAAD assholes need to find other ways of glorifying themselves rather than latching onto the celebrity of a show like American Idol. There are plenty of people who support your cause (I'm one of 'em) but these little preschool games have to stop. You have to stop pointing fingers and screaming, "You made fun of me, I'm telling!" That's just lame.

Congratulations GLAAD, on your contributions to the degradation of American society through pretentious and infantile protest of a harmless TV show for your own gains.

Simon Cowell Scale of Sucktitude: Dreadful
Congratulations, GLAAD, you fail.