Myspace: Or is it?

I kind of left off at my last post complaining about myspace. I think it's about due that I say something about it. First off, I have a myspace page, so the experiences are true that I will share. Also, I use the page to keep in contact with friends who are far away. Since I'm not at college anymore, it's pretty useless right now. However, I'm a little pissed about other issues with myspace.

First off, if you haven't heard of myspace.com, you probably haven't been using the internet very long, because 99% of everybody you know has a damned page. Myspace, for the "interweb retarded" out there, is an online social community, an oxymoron in itself. It's a true sign of our times that some people will actually pick this site first when it comes to their options of interactions with others. People can add friends, post messages, and spiff up their profile page with all kinds of neat shit, making them cooler than in real life.

The first thing that really pisses me off, is the amazingly large population of whores on myspace, ages 12-40. The younger audience is my focus, because that will lead to the next topic, so stay tuned. Younger girls who post slutty pictures of themselves are doing it for one of a few reasons. The number reason I believe, like most women, they're attention whores. They need eyes on them to feel good about themselves. Now don't get all fem-nazi on me, I know some women have decency, but a lot of them are losing it at a very early age these days, it's what we're teaching them. Most likely, she's a rape victim waiting to happen because these over made-up dumbasses don't take into account all the creepy needle-dicks out there who use myspace as a tool to lure young children.

Parents also get pissed because when this situation occurs (it has before) and some girl gets attacked, molested, or harassed by someone she met through myspace. They try to blame the website for this problem. I bet it was your nipple-slippin', teabaggin', ass-jigglin' camwhore of a slutbag daughter you've got that needs to be punished, not the actual page. What the hell did it do? It's an objective vehicle that goes wherever the user drives it, myspace did not make your daughter a prostitute, she was born that way.

As I've said before, one of the few reasons I support the death penalty, is because pedophiles exist. Adults that bang children should be killed when charged.

"Guilty of sex with a minor" says the judge, so the baliff pulls out a gun.

BOOM! HEADSHOT!

"Next case . . . Tickler Vs. Cornerworker?"

Pedophiles just seem to leak from the hooker-laden webpages of Myspace. Once again, this is because of two things. One, the offender hasn't gotten any since his mom sucked him off on prom night because he couldn't get a date, so he's fucked up already and bonkin' underage girls is this guy's game. Instead of exercising a little self control, he flexes his two-inch penis with one hand while surfing the web with the other. Two, we return to the camwhore problem. People, you need to understand something about wanting attention and this goes to everyone, not just Myspace hookers. When you do something rash to attract attention, you will always get negative attention as well. Rash as in, posting a picture of your 13 year old body in a bathing suit, or perhaps wearing one of those fantastic glitter letter shirts that say things like 'diva', 'cutie', or 'mommy's little rugmuncher.' Now I'm trying not to blame the victims here, but you need to understand the consequences of your actions. If you want to avoid pedophiles, don't be a cock teaser, especially on a website full of annonymous people! If you ever meet a pedophile, kill it. No one will care.

I can always get a good laugh however, when I'm surfing through the endless pile of garbage pages of angsty teens and burnt out adults. Another thing I truly cannot stand is whiggers. I've probably said it before, but nothing irks me more than some douche bag in a do rag, flapping his faggot gums about how he's got the tough life, or how he's going to bang some ho's, and talk about how people need to respect him. You're white, not black. Blacks don't want you, we don't want you, so just do the math . . . and step in front of a bus or something and save us all a lot of time and energy. I also do enjoy those pathetic videos kids make on youtube.com, talking about how the haters gotta stop hating and how we all got to respect them. Bullshit. You're already a pompous ass just for posting a video of yourself, now you're twice that because you expect to be handed respect and not actually earn it from me. Expecting respect automatically loses you respect, ironically.

If you've over at least three profiles on myspace, you've probably come across a person who has over one hundred friends. Here's another crime of the highest order of stupidity. There are users on myspace who cruise to random pages and abuse the "add friend" button. They're so damned shallow and low on confidence that they have to validate their social superiority through the divine art . . . of being a total asshole. Being a total asshole, of course meaning that they try to add as many friends as possible so they look cool around everyone else that sees their page. 9 out of every 10 users on myspace does not know most of the friends on their list.

Another thing that displays the true sadness that is the users of myspace, is the recent trend of 'trackers', websites that offer ways of seeing who views your profile. It is kind of creepy to realize that there may be quite a few people that look at your myspace each day, yet you don't know them. However, the disturbing part of this trend was that all of these trackers ARE BULLSHIT. They don't work, all you end up doing is giving the company that made the site free advertising. How empty does your life have to be that you need to know who sees your profile each day?

Bulletins are posts that you can make that are visible to friends on your friends only. You think it would just be a source of sending all or most of your friends messages about your day, or something simple like that. Nope. People use this resource as a means to do many things. Quizzes that ask you 60+ random and pointless questions, stupid sex games (such as, "would you like a booty call? sign here!"), and . . . trackers. The quizzes really do amaze me sometimes, with questions like "who's bed did you sleep in last night?" and "Have you ever killed anyone?" and "what's your favorite position?", it's clear that we can assume one of two things. One, that the relatively smaller adult base of myspace's user population had their bulletins and creepy sex messages duplicated by tweenagers, who are so eager to drop their pants that they have to keep spare tissues on them in case of unexpected explosions, who in turn use the posts as ways of looking cool around their friends who are also confused as fuck about sex. Or two, that there really is a large base of 'gangstas' and 'whores' out there. So I've come up with a solution, a branch off of myspace called "Mypimp.com" so that all these STD farms and whiggers ass pirates can migrate the fuck off of myspace.