Fanboys

Okay, it's time for some minimally filtered anger . . . again. This time, it's aimed at God's abortions, sometimes called ass cancers or dick sores. To the rest of us, they're fan boys.

Let's start off with a comic from Ctrl+Alt+Del, by Tim Buckley.



I really wish I could be the hand in that photo sometimes. Maybe not God him/her/itself, but someone with the power to just . . "splotch" someone into the muddy ground they're standing on when they start bitching about "their" consoles.

Fan boys are like rabid sports fans. They have a team they stick by religiously and viciously lash out at anyone who so much as points a critical finger in the direction of their beloveds. The difference between your typical "dedicated" (that's your euphemism of the day) sports fan and a video game fanboy/fangirl is that sports fans can be persuaded by reason a lot more often than fanboys and girls. If a sports team loses, their fans can usually see why. With consoles, there is no real competition outside of the actual game producers. For the gamers, we always win, we just get to pick how we win!

Games are meant to be a way to have fun on a rainy day, to escape to far away lands, or even to group up with distant friends for a game or two. Bottom line is that gaming has one purpose and that's entertainment. Fighting over video games is liking fighting over which kind of chocolate is better, dark or milk. They're both fucking chocolate, they're both awesome, so cut the shit and enjoy what you like!

I really can't stand surfing into a forum where some fanboy is drooling all over his keyboard about why Nintendo is "t3h suXxoRz" or some moaning zombie crying about how Microsoft "is lame and stooopid". The two meet and they duke it out in a battle of idiocy the likes of which haven't been seen since Paris Hilton starred in The Simple Life.

Hot.

So, check yourself real quick fellow gamers. Don't descend into the ranks of fandom. I've actually heard that there were fifteen commandments instead of ten and that number fourteen is, "Thou shalt not commit fanboyism for it is punishable by Virtual Boy." Also, the second part of "Thou shalt not kill" is "unless thy victim is a fanboy, then thou shalt rapeth the eyes and teareth his limbs asunder."

Seriously, you people need to cut it with this favoritism shit. Some people like Mario, some like Sonic, others like Master Chief, whatever floats your controller, who gives a damn.

Fucking shit.